Question:
> I’m tired…
I am about 20 replies behind on this. I really cannot go beyond what others have replied to you so far, Summer. Others have sent you some great advice, some beautiful words of encouragement, some old fasioned support and a lot of heart. You are much loved here, Summer. For what it is worth. -Joe D. off the smokes since 03 Oct 2001
Response:
In alt.support.stop-smoking, on 10 Dec 2001, Summer announced: > I’m sorry to unload guys especially when it is so damn > OT…but I’m feeling about ready to burst right now and am > not too sure what to do about it.
Smile! You’re a very nice person, and your problems will work themselves out without the help of your worrying about them. I know that worrying *seems* to accomplish so much, but really it doesn’t – all it does is make you sad, and that’s no good 
Keep your head up – You’ve quit smoking for over 2 Months! That’s a fantastic effort – do you know how many people can do that? Think of all the people you know, and know that you have done something most of them would not have the strength and courage to do. You really are a special person, and your loved ones still love you and miss you too! Regards OgO — my Quitting smoking page: http://qjc.cjb.net/quit.html Quit Stats home page: http://qjc.cjb.net/quitstats.html -=- Current version 0.9.4 – released 07/12/2001 -=- I left my Glasses in my email – you better take them out! wun – 3QOF+ – f3as3 – asdfg (ok, I made that last one up 
Since 1/01/01 at 10:31:05 AM, OgO has not smoked for: 11 months, 1 week, 2 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes and 53 seconds. 6,865 cigarettes not smoked, $1,922.23 saved, life saved 3W 2D 20:05:38.
Response:
> > >Listen to your AS3 friends, give yourself a BOOT in the > > ass and move on. > BTW Summer, make that a soft boot, no steel toes; just enough > to change your current funk!
Well geez!!! You could have told me that earlier!! ;) > > Tomorrow will be better… > promise? > Yes, I Bob S. promise that Summer will have a better day tomorrow.
So far, not too bad. Not great, but not what I was feeling yesterday. — Cheers Summer 2M+ — "It will not last…" — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
> I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better. Just know > that you are NOT alone…..you will always have friends here.
Thank you Chris. :) I’d feel better if you passed along some of those M&Ms. ;) Seriously though…I am feeling better today. — Cheers Summer 2M+ — "It will not last…" — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better. Just know that you are NOT alone…..you will always have friends here. Chris 1M – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I’m tired… >…of feeling like I am stuck in quicksand and sinking lower by the moment. >…of looking at my bank account and seeing that no, the debt hasn’t >magically disappeared. >…of working my butt off and finding that at the end of the day, I can’t >find a reason for doing it. >…of looking in the mirror and feeling powerless to change what looks back >at me. >…of feeling like there is something missing in my life and not knowing >what it is. >…of being angry at anyone and everyone for no apparent reason. >…of being separated from everyone I love. >…of being lonely 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. >…of pretending to be strong in the face of addiction when really, I am >not. >…feeling so totally unlovable. >But more than anything, I’m so tired of not knowing what to do to make >myself feel better. It feels completely useless. I don’t know how to even >begin to improve my emotional and psychological well-being right now. All I >know is I am sick and tired of hating everything about myself. >I’m sorry to unload guys especially when it is so damn OT…but I’m feeling >about ready to burst right now and am not too sure what to do about it. >– >Cheers >Summer >2M+ >– >Please don’t forget to take out the trash! >– >Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
Summer, I’m sorry to say that I had to take reading your post and the replies to it in three separate sittings. You probably don’t realize how much you mean to your fellow AS3 Quit Buddies. The reason it took me three different sittings to get through the posts was because it just tore me up. My heart hurt, my eyes burned and my throat has this huge lump in it that won’t go away even now. And I am not depressed, nor having a bad patch right now, and while I may be able to blame the Wellbutrin or the DTs of withdrawal for the tears they are not why I hurt so badly for you when reading your post. I hurt because I have experienced those same feelings many years ago, so I DO know how it feels, and because you are so important to all of us here we don’t want you to hurt like that. "We feel your pain" is not an empty, meaningless cliche in this newsgroup. Maybe you will be convinced, from all of these heartfelt replies, from all of these caring people that you ARE very important to all of us. You are certainly not alone. ***GREAT BIG HUG*** from BinnieBee
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m tired… > …of feeling like I am stuck in quicksand and sinking lower by the moment. > …of looking at my bank account and seeing that no, the debt hasn’t > magically disappeared. > …of working my butt off and finding that at the end of the day, I can’t > find a reason for doing it. > …of looking in the mirror and feeling powerless to change what looks back > at me. > …of feeling like there is something missing in my life and not knowing > what it is. > …of being angry at anyone and everyone for no apparent reason. > …of being separated from everyone I love. > …of being lonely 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. > …of pretending to be strong in the face of addiction when really, I am > not. > …feeling so totally unlovable. > But more than anything, I’m so tired of not knowing what to do to make > myself feel better. It feels completely useless. I don’t know how to even > begin to improve my emotional and psychological well-being right now. All I > know is I am sick and tired of hating everything about myself. > I’m sorry to unload guys especially when it is so damn OT…but I’m feeling > about ready to burst right now and am not too sure what to do about it. > — > Cheers > Summer > 2M+ > — > Please don’t forget to take out the trash! > — > Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
> I’m tired… > …of feeling like I am stuck in quicksand and sinking lower > by the moment.
Summer, have you forgotten so soon how sick you were not so long ago?? Geez girl- people have died of pneumonia, and you want not only a speedy recovery, but all the positive energy and enthusiasm of a person who was never ill! Give yourself a break for cripes sake!! LOL! You are a hard task master……Father ill, very far from home, Why aren’t you bright and bubbly!!! Bad girl 
Stop being so hard on my friend 
hugs, Georgie — f3as3
Response:
> I’m sorry to unload guys especially when it is so damn OT…but I’m feeling > about ready to burst right now and am not too sure what to do about it.
Unloading on us is no problem, Summer….and it’s a start. Have you thought about getting professional help? A counselor of some sort? Talking helps but you may need more than that. And if you’re like me…who used to hate the idea of taking anything for depression…you’ll back away from the idea. But if I get to that point again during my quit, I won’t hesitate for a second to get professional help. Hope things improve for you….take care. Hugs.. Sally — 2m 2w 4d 16:12 smoke-free, 2,388 cigs not smoked, $559.99 saved for whatever I want to spend it on, 1w 1d 7:00 life saved – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> — > Cheers > Summer > 2M+ > — > Please don’t forget to take out the trash! > — > Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
I felt the same way, just a few years ago, and still do sometimes, although rarely. There is a lot of stuff going on when you quit smoking, and problems that seemed manageable before often seem less so after you quit, and some thins just seem overwhelming. At just over 2 months you are probably just beginning to get over normal "quit depression". This should fade over the next month or so and you will probably begin to feel more positive. If you feel there is an organic cause for your "moodiness", then please see a doctor and get help. Meanwhile, there are things you can do to make things better. Here are a few things I used to regain control of my life: … get some exercise. It really helps your mindset, relieves stress, and actually builds up the parts of your brain that fight depression. If you can’t afford a gym, then brisk walking or aerobics to a video at home could be wonderful … get control of your finances. I started using Quicken this January, initially just to balance my checkbook, but eventually I was able to budget effectively and pay down many of my bills. Since I got married this year, and have had a number of major expenses (such as a new fence) I still have a lot of debt, but at least I can use the software to plan for the future, knowing just where Eddie and I stand. And I find myself spending more carefully when I know it’s going to be saved for posterity on my computer. … join a club. Check the internet for people in your area who are meeting about something you care about. Do you care about the environment? There are Sierra Club chapters all over the place, and they offer hikes and field trips for little to no cost. Do you like reading? Check out the local library for book clubs. Perhaps you could volunteer at local charities. They have a lot of volunteers around the holidays, but the rest of the year they need all they can get. … most importantly. Recognize that you are not unlovable, weak, or powerless. YOU control your life. Nobody who can fight this addiction as long as you have can consider themselves weak. And the only people who are unlovable are those who are not willing to allow themselves to be loved. Make an assessment of what you HAVE. Don’t let yourself be distracted into thinking about what you don’t have, at least not for a few minutes. Just list what you have, and don’t judge the value of it. Then look at your list and think about how hard you’ve worked to have what you do have, and how you would like to change that list, and what you could do to change it. You don’t have to do it all at once, just think about what you COULD do. Knowing that there are options can make a lot of difference. It will get better. Diane M. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I’m tired… > …of feeling like I am stuck in quicksand and sinking lower by the moment. > …of looking at my bank account and seeing that no, the debt hasn’t > magically disappeared. > …of working my butt off and finding that at the end of the day, I can’t > find a reason for doing it. > …of looking in the mirror and feeling powerless to change what looks back > at me. > …of feeling like there is something missing in my life and not knowing > what it is. > …of being angry at anyone and everyone for no apparent reason. > …of being separated from everyone I love. > …of being lonely 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. > …of pretending to be strong in the face of addiction when really, I am > not. > …feeling so totally unlovable. > But more than anything, I’m so tired of not knowing what to do to make > myself feel better. It feels completely useless. I don’t know how to even > begin to improve my emotional and psychological well-being right now. All I > know is I am sick and tired of hating everything about myself. > I’m sorry to unload guys especially when it is so damn OT…but I’m feeling > about ready to burst right now and am not too sure what to do about it. > — > Cheers > Summer > 2M+ > — > Please don’t forget to take out the trash! > — > Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
>Listen to your AS3 friends, give yourself a BOOT in the > ass and move on.
BTW Summer, make that a soft boot, no steel toes; just enough to change your current funk! > Tomorrow will be better… > promise?
Yes, I Bob S. promise that Summer will have a better day tomorrow. cheers Bob S. 1M+
Response:
<big snip> >Listen to your AS3 friends, give yourself a BOOT in the > ass and move on.
Yes sir! :) > Tomorrow will be better…
promise? Thank you for this Bob. The wakeup call was much needed. — Cheers Summer 2M+ — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
>Well, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure I WANT to be seeing this portion >of my life more clearly if it means feeling like the greatest hurdle in the >world is simply getting out of bed. I slept until 5:30 this afternoon >because I didn’t want to get out of bed. That’s not normal.
Awwww, but it’s not going to be possible to fix this if you don’t see it’s there. That’s all I meant. Sounds like you’re very depressed, to me > You’re used to buffering your emotional landscape with lots of nicotine, >and > you’re not doing that anymore. It really CAN feel pretty wretchedly > overwhelming for a while, and the answer as to what to do about all of >these > things is different for each individual. >Well shit, all I want is a clear cut solution. Skip the crap and someone >tell me the magic cure to make it go away. It’ll drive me to the looney bin >soon. I could probably deal with being down all the time, but that’s not >the case. These "yo-yo emotions" I’m having are making me lose my mind. I >won’t be sane much longer if I don’t figure out how to reign them in.
Oh, God… I remember this phase. It feels like you’re losing you mind, doesn’t it? I can’t tell you much except that your neurological self is probably all out of kilter right now, so try very hard to keep remembering that when you’re feeling way out on that edge. And repeat after me… it does NOT last. I had the raving loonies pretty bad too (some will say I still do) but eventually I learned how to deal with the flood of stuff that I was hit with. It isn’t easy but it’s critical that you give yourself plenty of latitude to get through this phase. Also, know that you are GRIEVING for your old "buddy". This is normal. God, what helped me? The support of this group, herbals (kava kava, valerian, chamomile, vitamin b complex), accepting that this was a part of the process, painful though it was, and reaffirming my committment each day to learning how to live comfortably in a non-smoking lifestyle. Accepting that I couldn’t do everything I wanted to do all at once, that I had to wean myself much more slowly off the patch than I originally planned. And talking, talking, talking to my quit buddies in chat about what was going on… laughter, staying diverted. Finally accepting fully that I was really serious about doing this. Last but not least, anti-depressants. I’d be writing this post with a cigarette in my hand if it weren’t for those. > This probably won’t mean much to you now, but sometimes just being able to > determine where some of the problems are in your life is a major feat in >and of > itself. >I know where a lot of my problems are. But they are not problems that can >be easily solved….debt, distance from family and friends. :(
Then determine which ones you can tackle, and tackle those. If you feel like it. And give yourself latitude to say, "fuck it all right now" and not do anything if you don’t want. Accept the things you can’t change for now and, perhaps more importantly, try not to put too much pressure on yourself for the things you can’t help. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> All I can offer you is a bit of counsel to take it easy on yourself, > give yourself LOTS of latitude for learning new things, trying out new >thought > processes, doing things differently. Cut yourself plenty of slack, and >take > good care of yourself right now. Never forget the size and scope of the >task > you’ve undertaken, and how proud of yourself you ought to be for all the >work > you’ve done. >Thanks Elle. I’ll take all the support I can get. Like I said, it comes >and goes. I think a lot of people in here have probably already figured >that out as, more often than not, I’m in a good mood and cracking my usual >bad jokes.
Hey, we all need to vent now and then. No one is happy all the time, and it’s important to have this group here as an outlet for those less than perfect, not so comfy feelings. Hugs, Elle
Response:
> >Well, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure I WANT to be seeing this portion >of my life more clearly if it means feeling like the greatest hurdle in the >world is simply getting out of bed. I slept until 5:30 this afternoon >because I didn’t want to get out of bed. That’s not normal. > Awwww, but it’s not going to be possible to fix this if you don’t see it’s > there. That’s all I meant. Sounds like you’re very depressed, to me
I see it…I’d just prefer not to. Make sense? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> You’re used to buffering your emotional landscape with lots of nicotine, >and >> you’re not doing that anymore. It really CAN feel pretty wretchedly >> overwhelming for a while, and the answer as to what to do about all of >these >> things is different for each individual. >Well shit, all I want is a clear cut solution. Skip the crap and someone >tell me the magic cure to make it go away. It’ll drive me to the looney bin >soon. I could probably deal with being down all the time, but that’s not >the case. These "yo-yo emotions" I’m having are making me lose my mind. I >won’t be sane much longer if I don’t figure out how to reign them in. > Oh, God… I remember this phase. It feels like you’re losing you mind, > doesn’t it? I can’t tell you much except that your neurological self is > probably all out of kilter right now, so try very hard to keep remembering that > when you’re feeling way out on that edge. And repeat after me… it does NOT > last.
"It will not last….it will not last….it will not last." my new mantra! > I had the raving loonies pretty bad too (some will say I still do) but > eventually I learned how to deal with the flood of stuff that I was hit with. > It isn’t easy but it’s critical that you give yourself plenty of latitude to > get through this phase. Also, know that you are GRIEVING for your old "buddy". > This is normal.
It would be nice if this all just disappeared wouldn’t it? But I know in reality that will never happen. So these shitty feelings will stick around until I take my head out of my ass and do something about them, right? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> God, what helped me? The support of this group, herbals (kava kava, valerian, > chamomile, vitamin b complex), accepting that this was a part of the process, > painful though it was, and reaffirming my committment each day to learning how > to live comfortably in a non-smoking lifestyle. Accepting that I couldn’t do > everything I wanted to do all at once, that I had to wean myself much more > slowly off the patch than I originally planned. And talking, talking, talking > to my quit buddies in chat about what was going on… laughter, staying > diverted. Finally accepting fully that I was really serious about doing this. > Last but not least, anti-depressants. I’d be writing this post with a > cigarette in my hand if it weren’t for those.
That all sounds good to me except for the bit about the anti-depressants. I’m not keen on taking drugs. I’d prefer a herbal route if at all possible. But if the drugs are what will do it, then I guess giving it a try couldn’t hurt. I did zyban for the first month and a bit and it made me a raving looney. I can’t deal with that again. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> This probably won’t mean much to you now, but sometimes just being able to >> determine where some of the problems are in your life is a major feat in >and of >> itself. >I know where a lot of my problems are. But they are not problems that can >be easily solved….debt, distance from family and friends. :( > Then determine which ones you can tackle, and tackle those. If you feel like > it. And give yourself latitude to say, "fuck it all right now" and not do > anything if you don’t want. Accept the things you can’t change for now and, > perhaps more importantly, try not to put too much pressure on yourself for the > things you can’t help.
God, that is so much easier said than done isn’t it? There is some genetic wiring in human DNA that makes us blame ourselves for everything going wrong in our lives, whether we have the ability to change it or not. So to my new "it will not last" mantra I should add "ODAT – One debt at a time". :) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> All I can offer you is a bit of counsel to take it easy on yourself, >> give yourself LOTS of latitude for learning new things, trying out new >thought >> processes, doing things differently. Cut yourself plenty of slack, and >take >> good care of yourself right now. Never forget the size and scope of the >task >> you’ve undertaken, and how proud of yourself you ought to be for all the >work >> you’ve done. >Thanks Elle. I’ll take all the support I can get. Like I said, it comes >and goes. I think a lot of people in here have probably already figured >that out as, more often than not, I’m in a good mood and cracking my usual >bad jokes. > Hey, we all need to vent now and then. No one is happy all the time, and it’s > important to have this group here as an outlet for those less than perfect, not > so comfy feelings.
And it’s amazing how it always IS here. There always seems to be someone online at any given time…the beauty of having us scattered throughout the globe. Thanks again Elle. I’ll give both your posts another re-read tomorrow when I am feeling a little more like myself. They’ll have much more of an impact then. I know they will. — Cheers Summer 2M+ — "It will not last…" — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
Edna, I have no idea how to reply to this post. I sit here starring dumbfounded at the screen with tears running down my face. Thank you for saying absolutely everything I needed to hear but couldn’t say to myself. I do need to find a way to deal with these feelings. They were around long before I quit (although they intensified after I did) and I have never really done anything to deal with them. Thank you so much Edna. You’re a gem. :) — Cheers Summer 2M+ — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This is not OT. This is a bad patch. The sort of bad patch you probably > used to rely on your addiction to help you ignore/slide through/repress. > You don’t have your addiction anymore. <insert pat on back here> So you > don’t quite know what to do. > OF COURSE you don’t know where to start to make yourself feel better. NONE > of us addicts jumped right in with efficient mood-management when we put > down the smokes. (Or virtually none. There may be a couple of freakishly > well-adjusted quitters out there who had no emotional problems when they > quit. Fuck ‘em, that’s what I say.) > Number one: Do NOT put yourself down for not intuitively, spontaneously > having all sorts of non-smoking skills. That’s why we’re here — maybe > somebody here can HELP you learn these new skills. And when you do, trust > me, you’re going to love it. > Number two: DO congratulate yourself for getting this far, and DO promise > yourself you’ll take it easy on yourself and stop criticizing yourself. You > DESERVE a break — especially from yourself :-) > Number three: Just try to have a little faith, and start practicing. Here > are some ideas that helped me: > Laugh. When it got bad for me sometimes, I would post a "joke alert" here > on as3, and my fellow quitters would inundate me with jokes. Laughter is a > great quit aid AND and great life skill. > Reward yourself. It doesn’t have to cost money. Just remember to practice > thinking of yourself as somebody who has achieved something really hard and > really good: quitting smoking, and KNOW that you deserve an extra half hour > in the bubble bath, a walk in your favorite place at your favorite time of > day, to watch tv naked, to take a nap — whatever it is you would enjoy. > You don’t need anybody else’s approval or understanding, just do it. > Read and post. Read the posts of folks in day 2 or 3, and realize how much > you have to offer these suffering souls, learn how much you have to give, > and practice giving. > Exercise. > Smile. > Get with people. > Take up a new hobby. > Pursue an old dream. > Fantasize in your journal. > And hang in there. It will get better. > You are not powerless. You have quit smoking for two months, and that is > the most powerful demonstration of self-rule I know of. > ep dof > I’m tired…
Response:
> I’m tired…
Hi Summer, the only thing I can think about the funk your in is this: – when you don’t smoke, you have more time to observe yourself – you know from prior life experience that you can not address all your problems at once; not smoking is a big one. you are changing your lifestyle. – make note of other things that are important to you and address them when the time is right. Use your success from not smoking to feed future goals. – you are in a different country and not at home but you are not alone. Listen to your AS3 friends, give yourself a BOOT in the ass and move on. Tomorrow will be better… cheers Bob S. 1M+
Response:
> > I’m tired… > …of feeling like there is something missing in my life and not knowing > what it is. > Quitting smoking doesn’t magically make you a perfect person with a perfect > life. In fact most people find all hell breaks loose.
And yes, it certainly has. > What you are missing > is cigarettes, no point in denying it. Just because you’ve decided to quit, > want to quit, never want to smoke another of the filthy things, doesn’t mean > you won’t miss them. Don’t worry, that too shall pass.
Yes, I am missing the smokes. Not the foul taste or the smell or their ability to kill me, but just their presence. Very odd to explain, but I’m sure many know what I am trying to say. But it’s more than just the smokes. It’s something so much more than that. I just can’t put my fingure on it. > …of pretending to be strong in the face of addiction when really, I am > not. > That requires a fine balancing act. Acting happy can only carry you so
far. And I’ve almost perfected wearing that mask. > Never be ashamed to ask for help.
Easier said than done. Raised in a home where it was made clear that showing weekness was not an option (indirectly taught this by my parents’ example). And I don’t know *how* to ask for help with this. If I hurt myself or couldn’t find the answer to something, I would know how to ask. But I don’t know what I am asking for…so it complicated matters a little. > Two months is great, but believe me > things get a lot easier after two years. )
You have no idea how much stock I am placing on that Dawn. :) > But more than anything, I’m so tired of not knowing what to do to make > myself feel better > Accept that this process is going to take time. Believe all the old folks > around here who keep promising "It gets better. Much better." No one can > tell you when. But it will.
I do believe you…most of the time. But occaissionally when I get low like these something tells me you are all a bunch of lying fools (sorry)…even though I do know it will get easier. > Telephones bring you temporarily closer to those you miss. You are saving > money. Look at some old meters and see how those dollars really add up. > Spend a little of it on something that will bring you pleasure (for me it > was some plants with blue flowers – you’ll see me referring to my Lithodora > now and then).
<snip> I would but then I fear I would be initiating this low point again because of spending money that rightfully should have been sent back home to pay off my debt. Ugh…I’m sick of this crap. Thanks for this post Dawn. When I re-read it tomorrow, I know it will sink in more. I’m still feeling pretty shitty at the moment so sadly, not much of this is making it’s way in. Thanks for the support Dawn, as usual, you have help to offer. — Cheers Summer 2M+ — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
> Sounds like you are having a pretty tough time…I can’t help but think it > has a great deal to do with being so far away from your family and loved > ones during the holiday season, and being in a country where (I imagine) > there’s not a great deal of Christmas celebration going on, anyway.
Most definitely it is. That is a large portion of it although not it entirely. > As for working your butt off and not finding a reason for doing it, but I > can’t help but remember someone saying, "There is an incredible feeling of > accomplishment when your children look at you and understand what you are > saying."
OMG thank you Ziggy. Thank you for remembering that and for reposting it back to me. I guess I needed to hear my own words. AS3 and the weedkillers are blessed to have you Ziggy. Thank you thank you. :) > You do make a difference, and we have appreciated having you here among our > numbers.
Thank you Ziggy, but this place is one of the few things keeping me sane at the moment. Everyone here has become a substitue family for me and I can’t imagine doing anything to jeopardize that. > I hope you feel stronger today. But if you don’t, keep talking….we’ll > listen.
Thanks Ziggy. Comes and goes. I may be feeling great tomorrow and low the next. Bear with me. :) — Cheers Summer 2M+ — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
> Hey girlie, Elle gave you a far better answer than I could so I’ll just add > a hug for ya (((((((((Summer))))))))
Thank you Padders. I needed that. > Take care chuck we don’t want to lose you here
Oh, you won’t be losing me. On top of all the other shit I’m feeling…I don’t want to add guilt for failing on top of that. No thanks. :) — Cheers Summer 2M+ — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
> {{{{Summer}}}}
Thanks Elle. :) > This may not be as OT as you say. Many times quitting helps us begin to see > more clearly all the other places where we’re having trouble in our lives.
Well, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure I WANT to be seeing this portion of my life more clearly if it means feeling like the greatest hurdle in the world is simply getting out of bed. I slept until 5:30 this afternoon because I didn’t want to get out of bed. That’s not normal. > You’re used to buffering your emotional landscape with lots of nicotine, and > you’re not doing that anymore. It really CAN feel pretty wretchedly > overwhelming for a while, and the answer as to what to do about all of these > things is different for each individual.
Well shit, all I want is a clear cut solution. Skip the crap and someone tell me the magic cure to make it go away. It’ll drive me to the looney bin soon. I could probably deal with being down all the time, but that’s not the case. These "yo-yo emotions" I’m having are making me lose my mind. I won’t be sane much longer if I don’t figure out how to reign them in. > This probably won’t mean much to you now, but sometimes just being able to > determine where some of the problems are in your life is a major feat in and of > itself.
I know where a lot of my problems are. But they are not problems that can be easily solved….debt, distance from family and friends. :( > All I can offer you is a bit of counsel to take it easy on yourself, > give yourself LOTS of latitude for learning new things, trying out new thought > processes, doing things differently. Cut yourself plenty of slack, and take > good care of yourself right now. Never forget the size and scope of the task > you’ve undertaken, and how proud of yourself you ought to be for all the work > you’ve done.
Thanks Elle. I’ll take all the support I can get. Like I said, it comes and goes. I think a lot of people in here have probably already figured that out as, more often than not, I’m in a good mood and cracking my usual bad jokes. > Hang in there, Summer… I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you Elle. I’m hanging. :) — Cheers Summer 2M+ — Please don’t forget to take out the trash! — Summer’s Soundbytes http://www.geocities.com/summer_soundbytes/index.html
Response:
This is not OT. This is a bad patch. The sort of bad patch you probably used to rely on your addiction to help you ignore/slide through/repress. You don’t have your addiction anymore. <insert pat on back here> So you don’t quite know what to do. OF COURSE you don’t know where to start to make yourself feel better. NONE of us addicts jumped right in with efficient mood-management when we put down the smokes. (Or virtually none. There may be a couple of freakishly well-adjusted quitters out there who had no emotional problems when they quit. Fuck ‘em, that’s what I say.) Number one: Do NOT put yourself down for not intuitively, spontaneously having all sorts of non-smoking skills. That’s why we’re here — maybe somebody here can HELP you learn these new skills. And when you do, trust me, you’re going to love it. Number two: DO congratulate yourself for getting this far, and DO promise yourself you’ll take it easy on yourself and stop criticizing yourself. You DESERVE a break — especially from yourself :-) Number three: Just try to have a little faith, and start practicing. Here are some ideas that helped me: Laugh. When it got bad for me sometimes, I would post a "joke alert" here on as3, and my fellow quitters would inundate me with jokes. Laughter is a great quit aid AND and great life skill. Reward yourself. It doesn’t have to cost money. Just remember to practice thinking of yourself as somebody who has achieved something really hard and really good: quitting smoking, and KNOW that you deserve an extra half hour in the bubble bath, a walk in your favorite place at your favorite time of day, to watch tv naked, to take a nap — whatever it is you would enjoy. You don’t need anybody else’s approval or understanding, just do it. Read and post. Read the posts of folks in day 2 or 3, and realize how much you have to offer these suffering souls, learn how much you have to give, and practice giving. Exercise. Smile. Get with people. Take up a new hobby. Pursue an old dream. Fantasize in your journal. And hang in there. It will get better. You are not powerless. You have quit smoking for two months, and that is the most powerful demonstration of self-rule I know of. ep dof
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m tired…
Response:
> I’m tired… > …of feeling like there is something missing in my life and not knowing > what it is.
Quitting smoking doesn’t magically make you a perfect person with a perfect life. In fact most people find all hell breaks loose. What you are missing is cigarettes, no point in denying it. Just because you’ve decided to quit, want to quit, never want to smoke another of the filthy things, doesn’t mean you won’t miss them. Don’t worry, that too shall pass. > …of pretending to be strong in the face of addiction when really, I am > not.
That requires a fine balancing act. Acting happy can only carry you so far. Never be ashamed to ask for help. Two months is great, but believe me things get a lot easier after two years. ) > But more than anything, I’m so tired of not knowing what to do to make > myself feel better
Accept that this process is going to take time. Believe all the old folks around here who keep promising "It gets better. Much better." No one can tell you when. But it will. Telephones bring you temporarily closer to those you miss. You are saving money. Look at some old meters and see how those dollars really add up. Spend a little of it on something that will bring you pleasure (for me it was some plants with blue flowers – you’ll see me referring to my Lithodora now and then). For you it may be a special plant, or a book or CD you really want, or an article of clothing that under ordinary circumstances you wouldn’t buy, an aromatherapy candle, a new toy for the cat – whatever will bring you pleasure whenever you look at it, and remind you that you would not have this if you hadn’t quit smoking. And remember this is not a one time reward – you deserve another and another and another. Dawn Two years, two weeks, two days, 10 hours, 38 minutes and 50 seconds. 22423 cigarettes not smoked, saving $5,886.11.- lotsa moola eh? soon to be spent restoring my beloved ‘69 Volkswagen. Life saved: 11 weeks, 20 hours, 35 minutes.
Response:
Hey girlie, Elle gave you a far better answer than I could so I’ll just add a hug for ya (((((((((Summer)))))))) Take care chuck we don’t want to lose you here hugs padders (
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